General Commentary
by Fushigi Kismet
Summary: A series of shorts about what the Dark Kings might have been thinking at some point in time. Not my best work, but EXCEEDINGLY SHORT.
1. Burning Desire

General Commentary  
  
~Burning Desire~  
  
by Fushigi Kismet  
She is fire. I am fire.   
They never knew that I loved her. I wanted her for myself. I wanted to be close to her. I wanted to feel her lips on mine, her voice whispering in my ear.   
  
As it had once, long, long ago.   
  
She and I had been in love.   
  
Such a long time ago. Why do I remember these things? They are like the flicker of a flame . . . burning bright and dying down . . . then burning bright again. She was the flame and my love fed the fire.   
That was the only reason I went to work at that Shinto shrine . . . Hikawa, or whatever it's called. I was not thinking of collecting energy or finding the Senshi or doing anything else to serve Queen Beryl or Metallia. I just wanted to be near her, to see her, and dream of love and passion for me burning brightly in her eyes.   
  
I was a fool.   
  
I will admit it now. I knew her for what she truly was, schoolgirl, Shinto priestess, Sailor Senshi, what did it matter?   
  
It mattered. Indeed it mattered.   
  
For I had forgotten what I had become.   
  
Her enemy.   
  
Oh, why did she have to discover the truth? I would have been content forever to bask in her glow, but it was not to be. She knew what I was, and she hated me for it.   
  
And yet, I still wanted her. Even when I was fighting her and attempting to kill her, I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and tell her how much I loved her.   
  
It was not to be. It was never to be. She was Senshi. I was Dark King. I had betrayed my oath to be a Guardian and she would never forgive me for that. I did not deserve her forgiveness. I did not deserve . . . her.   
  
But still . . . I wanted her.   
  
I grew to hate her and love her all at once. And it was my burning desire for her that kept me going. The burning desire in my heart, my soul, that would not die.   
Flicker.   
  



	2. The Stars Will Shine

General Commentary  
  
~The Stars Will Shine~  
  
by Fushigi Kismet  
The pain was quite intense - searing pain, burning away my skin. My blood dripped down, green. Since when had my blood been green? I had not bled for a long time, but the last time I could remember, it had been red. Hot and red and flowing, not this sickly green.   
  
It must have occurred when the Dark Kingdom had corrupted me. Everything had changed once I had been drawn into their midst. The stars, though they still continued to converse with me, singing their songs, telling me things, shining brightly in the night, their song was less joyful, their speech was softer, and their light was dimmer. They did not shine as brightly to me as they had in times past.   
  
Then I had met her and it was as though it was for the second time, and she awakened things in me, images . . . memories. Naru. Saying her name was like knowing myself. Naru. It seemed so familiar to my ears, familiar on my tongue. Naru.   
  
Something awoke within me and I knew it for what it was . . . love. I loved her. Why, I did not know, it was enough that I did. I wanted her to be happy, I wanted to keep her safe.   
  
Then Zoisite, as is his wont, had to come and spoil my happiness, destroying it before my eyes . . . destroying me. The pain swept through me, and all I could think of was Naru. To protect her. I had sworn that oath a long, long time ago. To protect Naru. It was my duty.   
  
Duty. What is it about that word? It is as though it is a part of me. Duty. Always for duty do I meet my end, through my failure of it. It was my duty to protect my prince, to protect my Naru. I had failed him, I would not fail her. And so . . . I died.   
I remembered her then, from my past. I remembered another too. Makoto. Love for me shone in her eyes. Oh, by the stars, where had I gone wrong? How could I have failed so many? How many times have I failed in my duty? Duty. It will always come back to that. It always does.   
I am lost. I cannot find my way. My prince - he had a light to guide him. I am lost. I will never be found. I do not deserve to be saved. I have failed so many . . . so many . . . There is nothing but darkness in my soul.   
I was falling in the darkness, the void between the stars . . . and she saved me, bright angel, as I knew she would. She saved me with her love. Death did not matter, my soul had been saved.   
  
Even without me, as long as her love lives, and the love of others, in the darkness . . . the stars will continue to shine. For me, for her, the stars will shine. 


	3. The Smile of the Enemy

General Commentary  
  
~Smile of the Enemy~  
  
by Fushigi Kismet  
I don't know what happened, really. I mean, I still don't. I didn't know then, and I don't know now. I can't even explain it to Kunzite. I just . . . snapped.   
  
It must have been when I saw the two of them together. No, it wasn't that. Why would that bother me? I have Kunzite. Them being together, that didn't hurt me. Well, it didn't hurt me as much as it should've. If I think back, I know what first made me so mad.   
Her smile.   
When I saw her old memories began flooding back. Memories of a blue-haired girl who rarely smiled, but when she did . . . it was heaven. I spent a moment just thinking of that smile. Ami's smile. My Ami. Then I shook myself out of it. I wasn't like that anymore. I wasn't that kind of person. The only person I loved was Kunzite. But still . . . I *had* loved her. My Ami.   
  
Still, I pushed the thought away. How could I be unfaithful to Kunzite?   
  
I went to retrieve the crystal from its carrier. What was his name? Ah yes, that boy . . . Urawa Ryo.   
  
And then I saw it. Her smile. The smile that had only been for me . . . but it wasn't. It was . . . for him.   
  
I think that then was when the dark rage overtook me.   
All I wanted was to hurt her, as she had hurt me. It was only fair. I wanted to wipe that smile from her face. To kill the boy that she had smiled at. But . . . I needed the crystal. That was when the thought came to me with a burst of vengefulness. Let the boy kill her. Once I had taken the crystal he carried and he had turned into a youma, he could kill her. Could kill her smile.   
I tried. Damn, I tried. However, everything backfired on me. She shouted insults at me and saved the boy. The wretched boy that had taken her and her smile away from me. The Senshi got the crystal.   
  
I didn't understand how I could feel the way that I did. I loved Kunzite, didn't I? How could the loss of a former love, this pitiful Senshi, hurt me so much? I felt . . . betrayed. But I had been the betrayer first, I suppose. That is life in the Dark Kingdom. We go around, everyone betraying everyone else. It's quite sad, really.   
I returned to the Dark Kingdom. I didn't care about Beryl or the others . . . even Kunzite. In our quarters, I stood and screamed at him for a good half hour, what about, I can't remember. I was insane, with her betrayal, my rage, my grief. I destroyed practically everything in the room, then I broke down . . . weeping. WEEPING. I lay face down on the bed, ignoring Kunzite's comforting arms around me, and wept for the smile of the enemy. The smile . . . that would never be directed at me again. 


	4. Enduring Pain

General Commentary  
  
~Enduring Pain~  
  
by Fushigi Kismet  
I watched as he was blasted backwards by a burst of power. He fell. I could not comprehend it . . . could not comprehend the hideous sound that Beryl made that was her laughter. _ZOISITE!_ my heart cried out. _ZOISITE!_ Sometimes, love is just too cruel . . . too cruel.   
  
Beryl spoke to me and I responded even though I was not really listening. How could I listen with my Zoisite lying on the ground somewhere . . . dead, dying? I had failed him. I should have leapt in the way of Beryl's blast . . . should have saved him, but I had not. Why? WHY?! Why hadn't I saved him?   
  
Later, I held Zoisite in my arms as he died. Oh, why did he have to die? _Because you did not save him,_ my mind responded treacherously. _You have failed him, as you failed . . . the others._ Others? What others? A memory struggled within me, buried so long ago that is almost past the point of recall.   
  
Faces . . . they swam up before me. Girls-no, *Senshi*-appeared before me. One in particular . . . her long golden hair framing her face, her blue eyes smiling at me. *Minako*. It was a face dearer to my heart even than that of Zoisite. How had I forgotten? How could I forget?   
  
Then something dark and malevolent blasted into me from behind and before I blacked out I heard shadowy voices whisper, "He musssst not be allowed to remember. He musssst sssstay within our control." And a voice I knew well replied, "Yes, Empress."   
  
I did not remember those memories when I woke, but I did remember one. Though the image of the golden-haired girl had faded, the image of another had not. *Zoisite*. His death clawed at me, hurt me. Every moment that we had shared together came back to haunt me, playing over in my mind, taunting me with chants of "Never again . . . Never this . . . Never again . . ."   
  
And I wept. I wept until I thought my heart would burst and I would die from the pain. What is life without him? What is life . . . alone? I am nothing, nothing. Born in darkness . . . living in darkness . . . suffering in darkness . . . destined to die in darkness. This is no life, no existence. This is nothing but the eternal torment that I have earned for myself.   
  
And I just wanted Beryl to take away all of my memories . . . to stop my suffering . . . to make all of my pain go away . . .   
  
She did not.   
  
It did not.   
  
And I was damned to an existence of eternal torment and never-relenting, ever-enduring pain. 


	5. Shining Gold

You know the NA episode "Bad Hair Day" where Malachite has one of Sailor Moon's hairs and tried to match it up? Mina's hair just *happens* to match because Serena's hair got on her by mistake? Well, that just struck me as odd. Having never seen the original Japanese episode (and being less than fluent in Japanese anyway) I have *no* idea if the original hair was Minako's or Usagi's. It makes more sense with it being Minako's, ne? I mean, they're *both* blonde, so how can the Dark Kingdom tell whose it is *anyway*? My solution? Write a fanfic! So here ya go:   
General Commentary  
  
~Shining Gold~  
  
by Fushigi Kismet  
I summoned the strand of gold to twine about my fingers, showing it to Beryl as I explained my plan. She appeared skeptical, but that was just as well, the only other thing she *ever* was consisted of being furious enough to perform some . . . hasty actions. Such as when she had imprisoned Jadeite in eternal sleep or . . . killed Zoisite, my lover.   
  
That was a bone of contention that still rankled. I had loved Zoisite . . . still loved him, but I hid my loss well. That was the only way to stay alive in the Dark Kingdom. NEVER let your true emotions show. There are more than enough minions ready to jump on you and rip out your throat at the least sign of weakness or chance at promotion. Here, backstabbing ruled supreme. You learned very early on when you made the Dark Kingdom your home, to never *ever* let down your guard. That was offering yourself up as a sacrifice. That got messy.   
  
So anyway, I was outlining my plan to Beryl, who eventually approved it and dismissed me to go initiate it. Prince Endymion watched me the whole time and smirked.   
  
I hated that. I wanted . . . to hate him. But I couldn't. I couldn't! Somewhere, far back in my mind, I knew - had always known - that my loyalty did not lie with Beryl, but with Endymion, my prince. It had been a bond forged long ago, in blood and war and tears. Yet, still I wanted to hate him, but that other part of me stopped me and I satisfied the hating urge by insulting him and arguing with him whenever possible.   
  
He hated *me* and let me know that whenever he could, but no matter how much I tried, I couldn't bring myself to so much as lay a hand on him. That was probably for the best as Beryl (I had long ago ceased to think of her as Queen) would have been . . . upset. It was no secret that she lusted after him and had attempted to get him to share her bed, but the part of him that still resisted his brainwashing had refused. Flatly. And so the denizens of the Dark Kingdom were stuck with an irate Queen and a smugly supercilious Dark King. And me. There was always me, the despondent one.   
  
I longed for so much, for escape from Beryl, for the feel of the sunlight on my skin, for companionship . . . but most of all, for love. I hungered for love. That was what had driven me to this latest of schemes.   
  
The truth of the matter was . . . the golden hair I had found did *not* belong to Sailor Moon. It belonged to . . . a blue-eyed, sweet-faced, golden-haired goddess of love. Love that I craved. Love that I needed. Her love.   
  
I had remembered. I do not know when I knew for certain the first time or when I noticed her for what she truly was. Perhaps it was the first instant that I laid eyes on her, outlined on the rooftop, a white cat at her side. Perhaps I knew her then as she broke through the forcefield I had constructed around the Senshi.   
  
I do not think she knew me as she insulted me, but I knew her. Oh, now I am just coming to realize that I knew her from the start. How could I not? I think, though, that as our eyes met, something flashed through hers. Recognition? I cannot be certain.   
  
Still, now I know her. I remember. I remember the anguish in her eyes as I betrayed her for the first time. The tears she shed upon my death . . . so long ago, and yet, so fresh in my memory. I remember the feeling of her lips on mine, her body in my arms, the warmth in her eyes, the scent of her hair. Her hair, oh God, it was her hair that I held. This was my one, last, desperate ploy to escape the darkness that had all but consumed me. There was no other way. I would find her, and I would reveal my true identity to her. I was Kunzite, her lover.   
  
Maybe, just maybe, she could find it within herself to love me back. I no longer cared about Beryl or the Dark Kingdom. All I wanted was to be safe and secure in her arms. All I wanted was to feel her love and know that I was loved.   
  
And so . . . I twined the strand of shining gold tighter around my hand and 'ported to Earth. This piece of her that I held in my hand . . . this was my last chance.   
Later, I returned, my illusions shattered. I had done no more than catch a glimpse of her. She . . . how could she love me? She was all that was good and pure. I had no place in her life. I did not deserve her.   
  
I belonged here in the dark dank places where all vermin scurried off to. I had taken my last chance . . . and lost it. 


End file.
